Abigail M. Schilling

The time has come

2009-02-11T21:34:52Z

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
--The Walrus and The Carpenter

I'm going on blog hiatus while I take some time to concentrate on my goals for 2009 and figure out my life. I'll still be around the internets, reading your blogs, writing love poems at The Collective, a-sharing in my Google Reader, procrastinating as always. If you'd like to stay posted on where I end up next, leave me a comment and I'll keep you in the loop. So long and thanks for all the fish.

I'm too busy to blog

2009-02-04T15:43:40Z

See? That is my too busy to blog face.

(Actually, it's too busy to blog because I might be killing myself trying to use a Dell laptop ohmigod face.)

It's that time of year when work throws me down, strangles me, and then I sleep for 7 hours and do it again. Like today? After I finish using this awful piece of equipment to finish a project I might not even be proud of, I'm going on a day trip for work. I'll be working a lot of hours today is what I'm saying. Too busy to blog is what I'm saying. Some people can be really busy and still blog. I am not lose people. Sometimes, I'm not really busy and I still don't blog. So.

In the meantime, let me leave you with this:

Those are the happiest sounds in my life right now. People, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show. WATCH IT.

are we human or are we dancer?

2009-01-30T17:21:13Z

A sad thing happened to me yesterday. I had to do laundry and since that is one of the hardest things for me to do (right up there with depositing checks and keeping my room clean) I spent a lot of mental energy gearing up. I made a Plan. The plan went like this: take my laundry with me in the morning, after work take my laundry to the laundromat across the street, put laundry in washer, go to bank and deposit checks (!), come back and switch laundry to dryers, go running, come back and fold dry laundry.

Perhaps that was a little ambitious.

I really did go to the bank and deposit checks. Unfortunately, when I got back to the laundromat the owner informed me that the dryers broke while I was gone. I had four loads of wet, wet, laundry. He was perfectly nice about it: tried to spin my clothes dry in the washers and gave me my washing money back, but it didn't help that my plan had been foiled.

Getting my laundry done conveninetly and quickly wasn't going to happen. And when that doesn't happen, my laundry doesn't really happen.

But I pulled myself up by my bootstraps (or running shoes as was the case), still went running and when I got home I hung everything out on the lines behind our house.

Now I just have the arduous task of folding. I have a Plan though: Friday night, a few beers, and episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

Malibu Camping (January 2009)

2009-01-26T03:59:04Z

I went camping a couple weekends ago. The weather was perfect: warm Santa Ana winds, temps in the 70s. The company was perfect: friends I've known forever who make it so easy to just talk. The weekend was perfect: pictures hardly do it justice.

Click through for the full set.

Christmas Cracker

2009-01-20T06:01:30Z

I picked up some firecracker-type party favors for New Year's Eve. Each one included a crown, a small toy, and a "joke." Many of them were LAME and then there was this one that made no sense.

We kept repeating it over and over trying to get an intonation that made sense.

Milky Baaaaaaaaaaa Kid? Milkyba Kid? Mil KyB Akid?

We gave up and drank some more instead.

I recently decided to Google it because the non-making-sense of it was driving me crazy. Sadly, there is an explanation.

Apparently, there is something called a Milky Bar somewhere in this world and it's mascot is the Milky Bar Kid.

Which, I mean, still a totally lame joke, but now it just fits in with the rest of them. No more mysteries here. I'm a little disappointed.

Things I Would Like To Do This Weekend Once I Finally Get Out Of The Office

2009-01-16T22:12:28Z

Go walk to an ice cream parlor and get an ice cream cone.

Pet some puppies.

Start watching Battlestar Galactica. (The first season. Not seven part six or whatever is about to air. THE LAST TEN EPISODES, I've heard.)

Not think about postal regulations and how my brain doesn't quite fit them.

Fold the clothes in my room.

Go see High School Musical 3 at the dollar theater. (Second viewing, still so excited.)

Find a date to Leah's party on Sunday. Anyone want to go?

Chipotle.

Watch The City.

Upload some pictures from the past few weeks. I'm in l-o-v-e with my new camera.

Sleep in.

I'm not going to see Marley and Me

2009-01-15T07:08:36Z

I was really looking forward to seeing Marley and Me. For one, Rachel Green. For two, Owen Wilson. For three, PUPPPPPY! The part of the trailer where Marley starts escaping from the movie car makes me laugh out loud every single time.

When I saw this headline in the LATimes I scoffed. I'm trained in journalism, and dudes, that is not a headline. I mean, they almost have something (barely) and then they tack on "which is not uncommon." Oh hai, not uncommon things are NOT newsworthy.

But as reports started to come in, people were telling me how SAD it was. People were sobbing. And the poorly-headlined article wove some yarns about how theaters emptied full houses of tears. That is so not my life plan. I avoid most animal movies for this reason. Somehow I thought this would be different. I mean, they spent so much money marketing this flick. And Jen and Owen. I mean, why would Jen and Owen make me cry??

So I read the Wackopedia entry which is what I do for all movies I'm curious about but don't want to see. And do you want to know a spoiler?

He dies of old age.

I still won't see it, but at least he doesn't get cancer or bite the neighbor and have to be put down.

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation

2009-01-12T05:27:45Z

I had nearly 17 days off of work. I told myself I would take a picture every day to remember the awesome times shared. I... didn't quite achieve that. But at least I have some. All the photos have really stimulating captions that you have to click through to see. And by stimulating, I mean not.

Waaaaaaah.

2009-01-06T08:03:56Z

After two weeks off work, I went back on Monday. Sunday night I was going to bed early so that I could wake up early. (I can't wake up at all without enough sleep.) I wanted to wake up early to get some things done. To be productive. To make something of 2009.

So I got under the covers at 9:50 pm. I closed my computer at 10:24 pm. And I tossed and turned.

I don't know what kept me up.

Maybe it was the cyst in my ear, resident there since 2005, itchy as hell.

Maybe it was because I was cold.

Maybe it was because of my asthma. I thought I left my inhaler in Big Bear. After twenty minutes of suffering I remembered where it was.

Also, maybe you're wondering why I had asthma laying in bed? Because I was cold. My life? It's a joke.

But I think the real reason was because on Monday, I had to go back to work. I was excited about going back. See, I'm kind of a dork. I love my job and the people I work with and I don't really mind being there. Of course, I definitely didn't mind the free vacation, but what I'm saying is I wasn't dreading going back. But I wasn't really excited either. It's not like I was waiting for Santa or anything.

But maybe it was just the excitement of change.

Things were not very exciting come morning time. I obviously didn't get anything done before work, and I was not well rested for work, and I wanted to sleep all day. Oh well.

Way to go, Michelle!

2009-01-05T06:12:11Z

Congrats to Michelle, the deserving winner of The Biggest Loser. I know that happened weeks ago, but I've been really busy driving all over Southern California and doing a whole lot of nothing.

In the end Michelle was up against Vicky, Ed, and Heba who had formed an alliance and were horrible, horrible people. One time, Vicky made a Revenge List and posted in on her door. Another time she audibly laughed at other contestants during weigh in. She is horrible and her little cronies are too. If any of them had won, the whole world would have screamed. But this awesome thing happened. Here's how it went down:

In an odd twist of fate, Heba and Ed ended up competing for the third spot in the finals. The decision was left up to the public to vote between the two. Ed, being the dutiful husband, begged America to let his wife win. Heba also begged America to let her win.

America gave her the backhand: In a "landslide" vote, 84% of the votes cast were against Heba.

In other words, if she had curried a little more favor with the public, she would have landed the third-place spot -- and she would have won.

Afterward, asked why America voted against her, she said "I guess there are just a lot of negative people out there who don't like to see success." (Heba, who said she wanted to join the show to lose weight so she could have a healthy pregnancy, said family planning is on hold for now: "I want to spend a summer where I can wear a bathing suit and not feel bad about myself. Call me when that's over.")

(Summary courtesy of Rene Lynch over at the LATimes. Check out the full editorial, it's awesome.)

Gah. Don't you hate her? I'll admit to liking it her at least some of the time. I thought she could be pretty funny and I thought she was playing a good, but fair game. And sometimes I could tell she was scared of Vicky, too. But she didn't deserve it more than Michelle--and because of her alliance with the devil, I don't think she deserved it at all.

Michelle def deserved it. She outperformed nearly everyone in challenge after challenge and also she forgave her mom which woah, must have been hard. So. Yay for Shelly!

You may have seen these before/after images on the cover of US Weekly or TBL website and thought, "Wow, that bra looks way more supportive than what she what she wore on the show." At least, that's what I thought. A few months ago I remarked that, "They should give the girls better sports bra. They exist. Post on that forthcoming." Obviously, that post never appeared. But now I feel convicted. This black super supportive bra that Michelle is wearing? I own it.

It's the Last Resort Bra by Title Nine.

Product description:

If you've tried every bra out there and still bounce, try this one. Our first-ever 5-barbell rated bra ain't pretty, but our testers say it completely eliminates bounce. Literally, you won't move, and that's a beautiful thing. Sturdy nylon/spandex construction. We recommend this as the workout bra of choice for D, DD and DDD cups who don't want to bounce at all. Not ever.

And that is an accurate description. I wear this bra to RUN, like for real on streets and treadmills and things and it works! It defies physics! So, why why why did the show have them working out (all the time, every day) in this pathetic excuse for a bra?

Merry Christmas, interneters!

2008-12-26T02:00:38Z

Yesterday was the sixth birthday of my blog and I usually post something, but all I had to say was that. And maybe I was going to post a picture of birthday cake. Or a six-year-old. I hadn't really thought it out.

Instead of that, I'm going to show you some real pictures that I just uploaded. I had a whole month's worth of blurry photos saved up in my camera and now I get to torture you with them! Happy Holidays!

bro at uncommon ground in chicago

www.uncommonground.com/ I very recommend this restaurant! I had something with bourbon that tasted like candy to drink and then squash ravioli. Jeremy had an open face meatloaf sandwich. The meatloaf was wrapped in bacon. Also, some other things.

me and checkers

At my brother's apartment in Chicago. The cat was mine growing up. Now she lives in his closet.

me and bro in the frigid cold

I'm on the left, but he's wearing one of my hats and it I didn't know that I couldn't be both people in this picture, I would think I was both.

im sorry, but these are the cutest christmas tags ever

and you can't prove me wrong.

vacation: first monday

lucky charms. i can't take un-blurry pictures.

vacation: first wednesday

So I packed up for four days in the mountains, three days with my roommate's family, and then another four days back in the mountains. Also, I told my mom I'd do her Christmas shopping for her. In kind of seems like I was packing into the middle of nowhere, but Big Bear has a grocery store and everything. If you want a really detailed account of what's happening back there, click through for more description.

this is holiday

cabin in the mountains, warm wooly socks, red pajamas, wine.

The First Few Days of Vacation

2008-12-22T02:47:31Z

As of 5 pm on Friday, I am official on Christmas Vacation. When I was in high school we still had homework due and finals after the new year, and when I was in college I was always having to read one million books, but now I am an ADULT and I have REAL TRUE vacation. And, because Jesus was born on just the right day this year I get TWO WEEKS OF VACATION. In fact, it comes out to 16 days.

How did I spend the first two?

After a sleepover at Cate and Amanda's, we all made breakfast Saturday morning by reheating some leftovers from my office.

Things that did not work:
-steaming hard French toast
-re-"crisping" the bacon

Things that did work:
-re-pan-roasting the potatoes
-starting over with the eggs
-getting coffee at Starbucks

After nom nom noming, I witnessed two people succumb to the beauty and efficiency of Google Reader. Now let's hope they're good at Sharing.

Since we spent the rest of the day sitting around doing nothing, "cooking" was the most productive point of the day. And since I didn't even help, I had zero productive points of the day. Wait... unless sitting nearby and mocking the proceedings counts. You know what, I'm going to say that does count, because it certainly counts at my office. Where I get paid. Sometimes even for a two week vacation. WOooooo!

In the evening I popped over to Elle's house to make cookies. I helped a pinch more here, but still mostly just the mocking. I could even tell you a really funny story involving gingerbread men and mocking but Elle NEVER EMAILS PICTURES. In the history of our lives, I think she's done it once. Maybe.

And what did I do today?

Planned to go to Chipotle with A.Mae and then canceled because I didn't want to shower or drive. Planned to go find a Jewish deli to celebrate Hanukkah but found out I'd have to go to the heart of LA because out here in the 'burbs we only have Christmas food. I tinkered on a lot of forthcoming blog-related surprises and learned me some more internets and watched the final three episodes of Stylista. Meh to that. Ken Mok, you could do so much better.

I finally showered at six, because I have a party to be at. And trust me, I can't stop complaining about having to drive there.

What will I do tomorrow? Leave the house before it's dark out? Go running? Stop by my office to do the unofficial stuff? CAN YOU HANDLE THE SUSPENSE?

Boo hoo.

2008-12-20T20:37:18Z

I need to complain about something. I feel a little bit guilty about complaining, because I've already been complaining to everyone I know about this, but I CAN'T STOP.

On my face, right there ON MY FACE, is a CYST. I tried to figure out exactly what kind of cyst, but I ended up learning way more than I wanted to about all sorts of things I didn't need to know. The facts: it's not huge, thankfully, but it's super super itchy. It's rather small, but inflamed, and I've had it for four days now. It has no zit properties, which means my fail-proof zit-getting techniques are useless. I get it about four times a year, and one time I clawed it so badly that I created this huge scar that took up a lot of my face. So I've been making myself NOT do that this time which has made me talk about it even more. SAVE ME.

See it there? Buried beneath the skin and layers of scar tissue? IT TORMENTS.

I have a related confession. One time I had a bad face cyst and it was ruining my life (standard) and somehow--I don't remember how--I ended up on YouTube watching videos of people popping cysts. I roped Katherine into this sick little film viewing experience and we couldn't stop. YouTube kept suggesting more and more and more and we just kept watching them. We'd gape and gape and then scream and turn away. And then watch another. There is something really disturbing and vaguely satisfying about watching a really big cyst on the shoulder of a frat guy get stabbed by his drunk frat guy friends.

I'm sorry. I can't help it.

Alex and Marissa, no longer welcome in the red states.

2008-12-18T15:44:43Z

It's sunny today. Which means, after too many days of rain, I can post this video that I love. Since it's about rain I was afraid we'd have six more weeks of rain if I posted it. That's how that works, right?

Opening scene from one of my favorite episodes of The OC, "Rainy Day Women." Didn't have enough time to actually watch it, but probably spent the equivalent watching videos on the youtubes. Here's part of the director's commentary with my lovah Josh Schwartz. They talk about how they choose the music so deliberately; Jacob would be happy.

Some Spam

2008-12-17T17:55:21Z

A million years ago when I was a journalism student, we learned this story about this little old lady who fell for a scheme where she would meet some guy behind a grocery store and give him envelopes and envelopes of cash. I can't remember exactly what his lie was, but it was hard to convince the old lady that she needed to participate. She kept up until she was out of money. Literally had spent all her savings. Is your heart broken? Mine too.

I get an average amount of spam, most about watches--seriously! I get twice as much watch spam than the other dirty kind of spam--and occasionally something that is telling me to enter my email somewhere for a prize. I delete it all, obviously. However, today I received this, which I know is fake, but a little old lady might not.

Dear friend,
I just want to inform you that I have packaged and deposited your UNIVERSAL ATM MASTERCARD worth $800,000,00 USD with Federal Express to deliver it to you.

Contact the shipment officer with the below informations and reconfirm your correct address:
Full name......................
Home address............
Country....................
Telephone...............

Shipment Code: CPEL/OWN/9856
Parcel Number: EG2272-NG

Delivery Officer: Collins Oliver
E-mail: fedex.shippingdept@live.com
Tel: +234 808 029 8440

Please reply the shipment office with your address and shipment code for re-confirmation.

Once again, Insurance and delivery charges have been paid for, but the only fee remaining is the security safe keeping fee of $198 USD which you will be required to pay. Also note that Fedex Services do not know the content of the parcel, I registered it as an African magazine, they do not know it contains UNIVERSAL ATM MASTERCARD inside. The ATM MASTERCARD has pin number 8876.

Regards,
Greg Williams.

Emphasis mine.

I hate you, Greg Williams, and your "officer" friend, Collins Oliver. I'm thinking about emailing them back. Just to mess with them. Or maybe send a rage-filled email.