Abigail M. Schilling

During a bout of stress earlier this month I purchased a plane ticket for a trip home for Christmas. For six days. SIX DAYS. Apparently, at the time I had forgotten what exactly it's like to be with family ALL THE TIME.

Now with the holidays out of the way and the eight crazy nights of Hanukkah before me, I need a list. A to do list of things to keep me occupied while I'm hostage in Illinois.

So, dear Internet, please keep me accountable.

Things To Get Done While You Have All The Time In The World (In A Very Specific Order):

• Write Christmas letter. It's now after Christmas. It has gotten to the point where you are writing To Do Lists instead of writing the letter. Can it be that hard? Just talk about yourself for 700 words.
  
• Finish Anthropology. You really do care about this stuff. And besides, you want to graduate, right?
  
• Choose your benefits plan. Get over the fact that you can't afford insurance that provides chiropractic coverage. (What is with that, anyway? Chiropractors are real doctors. Dr. Bobby Bobby, for example.)
  
• Organize your email. It's out of control. If you love folders so much, why don't you use them? And those gmail labels. Use those too. (Although, they lie when they say "search! don't sort!")
  
• Pick a New Year's Resolution. Prove something.
  
• Get New Year's Eve plans. Find someone to kiss at midnight. Perhaps a really hot magical prince who also wears clothes from The Gap. Find out if A Lot Like Love is on DVD yet. Procure for New Year's. Ashton Kutcher can substitute for magical prince if all else fails.
  
• Catch up on blogs. They won't just read themselves.
  
• Read a book for once. Your brother works a freakin' discount bookstore (F-O-X) so go in there and buy something. Then read it. The whole thing. Extra points if you stay up late reading. It will be like the old days before school ruined your life.
  

Alright, recap in four days.