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I am the coolest person you know.

I am the coolest person you know.

Yes, that is me, trying to talk on my broken phone. It's held together with gaffing tape and my really hopeful thoughts. Thoughts like, "please, phone, just keep it together for the weekend." "Please just last until the replacement comes in."

It listened fairly well, only giving out a few hours before I had an Artesian Adventure today and traded it in. I miss it already though. The new phone has relief art as wallpaper. The new phone doesn't have my speed dials programmed in. The new phone isn't at least half the volume. And I'm going to need to download new ringers. Since when am I so anti-change?

I developed a headache today around the time my old (RIP) phone's audio stopped working. It's right at my left temple and it won't go away despite ibuprofen. It only goes away if I push on it. Whine whine whine.

Will the alarm on my new phone be loud enough to wake me in the morning?

Don't worry, I won't sustain the suspense for long.

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Comments

my new phone pretty much traumatized me for life. but i've decided that my next phone will most definitely be an iPhone, but since i won't need a new phone for a while i'm not really thinking about it that much. good story.

"Hi, Heather. Listen, the transmitter part of my cell phone is working, but the ear part is not. If you talk I cannot hear you. I am on my way to get my new phone. Please text to say if you will be able to receive my call in 30 minutes. I am hanging up now. Bye."

OK, so I have a super special surprise but I am only going to tell you about it you promise not to judge me for spending all the money I don't have. And maybe you can even borrow it. With no judgment.

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