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I have a cavity.

I know this because my tooth hurts. The tooth in the front on the stage left side. I'm not sure which tooth. It could be the pointy one or the one right next to it. The cavity must be a big hole in between them.

And the reason why I have a cavity is because I don't go to the dentist. And because I eat sugar all the time.

And that is so embarrassing because I used to be so serious about the dentist. We always went every six months growing up and when I was in braces (FOR SIX YEARS) I went four times a year.

And now that I have my own health insurance (that my company pays at least $10 a month for) I apparently have become too good for the dentist.

And now I have a cavity. Karma's a bitch.

I'd like to blame the insurance excuse on the fact that (wow, could I get to the point any slower?) PacifiCare had assigned me to a dentist forty minutes from my house when there are plenty of dentists in the plan considerably closer. So, in an act of defiance, I decided to screw the dentist. (That's also the reason I just ate a Milky Way even though I'm in bed and already brushed my teeth.)

Today, because of the cavity, I broke down and called PacifiCare. They were perfectly nice and got me a good, referred dentist close to my home. My co-worker warned me that I might not be able to get in until December because of the change o' provider, but when I told everyone involved that I have a cavity and might die people really cared.

Of course, I'm not really worthy of the caring since I spent all afternoon sampling the new holiday menu of our catering company (I love working in events). We got to try every single entree, appetizer, and dessert. In courses. It was beauty in motion. Oh wait, this paragraph was just so I could brag about that.

Anyway, I totally am going to die now because of all the eating on the cavity. But not if I go to the dentist first. Which I will.

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Comments

I gots to get a job where they feed me food. One time we got a basket of mini muffins. People went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.

You were in braces for SIX YEARS? Dude, that is all kinds of not right.

I have a cavity too....I still can't talk about it. Too painful.

Get thee to a nunnery!

Didn't you forget the two years of the lower mouth appliance?

Heather Anne, your work makes me sad.

Jennie, you have no idea. I should have sued my orthodontist.

Heather B., maybe we could start a support group? Wherein we complain and eat more candy? Sound good?

Sally, thanks for bringing back those painful memories. Man, I was a pathetic mess of a child. Now I'm just a pathetic mess of an adult.

no, no suing. Monster that he was, he did move your jaw. If he didn't your TMJ syndrome would be worse than your carpel tunnel syndrome.

Also, when your teeth are wrecked from eating Halloween candy, you can always replace with candy corn!!!

You had me at:

So, in an act of defiance, I decided to screw the dentist.

I'll bet he was thrilled. You revolutionary, you.

I kind of rebelled against going to doctors at one point, for very similar reasons having to do with a crappy HMO (thankfully, I now have good insurance, but the notion stuck in my head). Amazingly, I've never been healthier.

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